-By Dr. Preeti Singh, Sr. Consultant Clinical Psychologist & Psychotherapy CMO, LISSUN 

Let&rsquo;s begin with an insight into what goes on in a couple&rsquo;s mind that is trying to conceive for a long time or going through IVF&hellip;&nbsp;
What happens when one is wanting a baby more than the other? What happens when we are not able to tell our partner how petrified I feel by the thought of finding out that something is not okay with me? I may feel like it's all my fault. What happens when nothing is working out? One may feel overwhelmed, hopeless and wish that the procedure is stopped midway.
Another thing to come to terms with is - Why does it become more difficult to suggest sperm donors instead of an egg donor?
Things were still fine till this couple was having failed IVF attempts with egg donors. But things became worse when the wife conceived with a donor sperm. Read on...

Pic: Eric Ward/Unsplash

A husband was devastated when his wife conceived with a sperm donor. He had spent 10 long years trying various permutations and combinations of 3 IUI, surrogacy, 7 failed attempts with egg donor and even conceiving on their own, but losing their child to a miscarriage after 5 months. Finally, on conceiving in their 11th attempt with a sperm donor, the husband was conflicted between feelings of guilt (of having put his wife through so much because he couldn't come to terms with his situation) and happiness (of finally having a child).
He silently mourned the loss of his own child to miscarriage and felt angry that no one understood that this child will be more rightfully hers than his. He expressed his conflicting emotions by being furious at every disagreement regarding the baby. Everything felt like a personal setback to him. He suffered in silence because he had not been able to speak to anyone about it. He felt so worthless and sad and angry that he wanted to end his life.

To the couple's credit, they took a brave step of seeking professional psychological aid to help them to understand the situation as one team.

Courageous Decision

Pic: Tiendat Nguyen/Unsplash

Unfortunately, as a Clinical Psychologist who gets to work with struggling yet brave couples, I get to see a bleaker world. And very fortunately, I also get to contribute to making the world a better space for sure.

Something that was to happen for the sole purpose of happiness and bonding, almost got a couple on the verge of separation...
Are we prepared for the process and aftermaths of IVF Treatment with donor sperm or donor egg?
Some conversations are so difficult...Here's a diary entry from real life.

From A Therapist's Diary